Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
