"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
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