one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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