i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
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