my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
