I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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