i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Found your dick twin last night
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Randomize
