It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
