i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
