your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
