I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
