obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
