...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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