this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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