I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
