Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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