I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
Randomize
