Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Green mimosas i think yes
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
