she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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