I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
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