I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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