drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
