May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
