She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
