Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
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