I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
