They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
