i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
