...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Randomize
