Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
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