yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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