Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
