piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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