the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
