The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
