and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
