everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Randomize
