yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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