Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize