I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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