dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
