just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
