im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
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