There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize