so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Randomize
