I feel like abortions should bother me more
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
