Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
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