So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
i dont even know how to be here
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
