Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
