She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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