It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
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