WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Randomize
