I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
