I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
