i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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