Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I love having hate sex.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
