at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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