whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
