i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
home. puking in laundry basket.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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