How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
