never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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