so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
