I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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