Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
My butt remains clenched, sir.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
