oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
