But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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