like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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