Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Randomize
