I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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