I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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