Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
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