Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
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