Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize